4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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