Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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