Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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