she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
