i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize