Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i will never coherently bang her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
