I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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