hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
