Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
