i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
