my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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