That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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