She's JV to your varsity
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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