just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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