she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
