Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
