it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
