i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The power of my boobs compel you
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
