So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
