yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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