Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
