And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
