You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
