Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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