I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
