I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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