hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
