You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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