I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
