So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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