Welp...herpes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
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Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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