so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I touched a dick in church today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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