yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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