Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There are leaves in my underwear?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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