i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
