And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
