hotel room ftw
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
