I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
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I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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