is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
