I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize