You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
