Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
