conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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