Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
