Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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