so explain again why im purple
no
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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