I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
