You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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