i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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