Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
