I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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