Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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