Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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