I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
