If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
