I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
