My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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