I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
