i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
