Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
